Monday, October 17, 2011

Reason #6 - Why I'm grateful I don't wear Depends

So I'm a bit of, what a friend of mine once referred to as, "a hustler". In addition to my normal 9-5er I always have some sort of random side job (or three) I'm juggling in an attempt to pay off the debt that the 22 year old version of myself was dumb enough to acquire. Awhile back, in the height of my "I will do anything for a dollar" days I signed up for a paid survey website. The thing is you need to qualify for said surveys. So I am constantly getting questionnaires emailed to me in an effort to determine if I am the right person to be surveyed. Yes folks, they survey you for the surveys. Unfortunately not once have I even remotely qualified to earn some of the mean green. I determined that maybe I was being a bit too honest with my responses and that perhaps embellishing just a bit might be OK. I vowed that next time one came to me I'd (wo)man up and tell them I was a huge fan of ALL even if I really do prefer Tide. No harm in that right? So the other day I got my chance. I opened my inbox and saw the email asking me if I wanted to participate in a survey waiting for me. I rubbed my hands together and prepared to say I drive a Ford and that Raisin Bran IS my preferred cereal. Whatever it took, I was going to land this one. I was about to make this survey my bitch. So I clicked the link, filled out my basic info and prepared for my first question.

"Do you suffer from endomitriosis?"

Ummmm no...and this sounds like something I don't want to lie about (karma ya know?)

A little disappointed I clicked 'No" and moved on to question 2.

"Do you suffer from IBS?"

No! And I don't want to! I'm going to have to be honest again.

As much as it pained me, I clicked 'No' again and moved on to question 3.

"Do you suffer from urinary incontinence?"

Does threatening to pee if someone tickles me count? Ugh! Better not risk it...

So at this point I have completely bombed out on the survey. I'm totally bummed and quite frankly a bit disturbed (what the hell kind of product are they pushing here?!!?!?!). I click my final 'No' and immediately the survey bar jumps from 25% complete all the way to 100%. Epic fail. The lesson here? Honestly I don't think there really is one. In the end I guess I'm just grateful to have a generally well functioning bladder even if it hasn't made me any money. As they say in little league, "You'll get em next time tiger!"

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