Reason #12 - Why there's no need to write me in on the ballot

So I'm not exactly what you would call a political activist. I don't recall having ever run for president of my class in grammar school. I think I may have been treasurer of the National Honor Society in high school. However I feel as if I was more or less volunteered for the position. Also, we had no actual money to treasure. As I recall my most major action was daring the president to refer to orange Hi-C as "bug juice" whilst inviting our families back to the cafeteria for refreshments after the induction ceremony. Hillary Clinton eat your heart out. I will also cop to having sat on the executive board of my sorority. At the time I would have tried to convince you that this meant something (truly you wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork that lurks behind all of those mixers). But looking back I realize that real politics is so much more then making sure some half naked drunk chick doesn't ruin your reputation. Hey, wait a minute...On second thought maybe I did have a short lived career in politics after all.

Recently, though, I decided to take a stand and sign an online petition. It seemed harmless enough. Do you think this policy about euthanizing poor innocent shelter dogs sucks? YES! I Do! Then click here to sign our petition. I did agree! So I did click! It seems that I have now opened some sort of political advocacy Pandora's box though. My Gmail is now a sea of alerts asking me to do things like stop farmers from growing red tomatoes because they cause night blindness in the gopher population. Every time I look there's a new (and more ridiculous) cause asking me for my time and support. It's actually kind of worrisome, as I was previously unaware of all the things going terribly wrong in the world. Did you know that kangaroos are being murdered for their belly button lint? Or that men who wear pink argyle sweaters are being kidnapped and tortured in Belfast? YES! Apparently all of this is going on and we need to stop it! Or maybe I just need to stop getting these emails. Now if only I could figure out how to unsubscribe...And thus we see why my career in politics never exactly took off.